Reasons

"Oh c'mon" was her only response when he started shouting obscenities at her.

If he hadn't been so enraged and hurt he probably would have noticed the compassion on her face.

"This isn't about you. You know that don't you?

These things never are.

Most things aren't about you.

Nothing is ever personal it just seems like it, since it affects you personally.

But then it only really affects you personally because you think it is personal.

Typical hen or egg situation.

You'd feel better if you only realized that."

She stopped leaning towards the wall, walked over to him and sat down next to him.

She leant towards him and whispered in his ear.

"You are who you have to be. And so am i."

She leant away from him with an almost eager expression on her face, like she expected him to react in some specific way, she was waiting for him to get something.

He just looked at her.

"This world.

All you can do is survive.

You can't live." she said.

"We're like a million bouncing balls thrown into a confined space.

Bouncing around, crashing into each other, constantly changing course not because we want to, but because some other ball knocked us that way.

The only difference is that unlike real bouncing balls, we never loose speed.

There's no end to it.

That's about as simply put as i can make it.

You are who you have to be. We all are.

Not who you want to be.

I think most of us deep down know who we'd want to be though.

We just never get there.

And everytime someone knocks into us we act as though it's never happened before. Then it's all about the sad faces and the upsetness and who knows what.

Especially when it's someone we know.

Then it's like the whole universe is crashing down.

But...

You see there's always a reason, just not one you want to hear coz' you're all busy with your own rage and self-pity.

So you don't see the other person is just the same. Just as entitled to the angry and disappointed feelings.

I have reasons for this to you know.

You wouldn't understand them i realize that.

But you should know.

I have reasons.

And none of them even contains you.

Or well i don't think so anyway.

Sometimes the reasons get a bit fuzzy with life.

After a while some reasons are more like reactions, you don't really know why you flinched anymore but you did.

I think they still count as reasons though."

She sat silently for a while. Lost in her own world of thought.

Then she shook herself out of it, blinked a few times and got up.

She took a few steps away from him and then turned with a sudden cheery look on her face.

"So!" she chirped out.

"Do you want me to give you fair warning or just lay it on you?

Some people want to see it coming, others feel more comfortable not knowing."

He barely had time to process the question in his head.

Just when he was about to open his mouth.

Her fist landed on his face with a force you wouldn't believe she possessed by looking at her.

Clearly she'd had practice.