Careful what u wish for

We all wish for something specific every now n then.
Something big and important to us.
We start by pondering over the idea.
Then we start yearning for it.
Things in our surroundings remind us of it.
We find ourselves thinking about it when we thought we weren't thinking of anything at all.
.
Time passes.
Some days the idea of it is only like a small post-it on our refrigerator,
slips into our mind everytime we walk past it but only to notice it exists with no thoughts of doing anything about it.
Other days it's like an infection running through us,
the thought of it is clouding everything else we do with it's feverishly nauseating ache pounding us.
In whatever intensity, not one day passes without it being there.
.
This is as far as many wishes go for us.
Nothing happens, the infection gets fought of, the post-it becomes out of date n thrown away.
Many times we tell ourselves that it was a bad idea,
that if it would have been a real wish it wouldn't have died out.
Anything to keep ourselves from having to face the fact that since we didn't do anything about it,
we are to blame.
We smuthered it ourselves without giving it time to take even one first breath.
.
But sometimes, everytime hell freezes over.
The opportunity to actually step forward and turn our wish into reality opens up.
Not because any practical obstacles got straightened out, but because for some time something inside us rises up with a strong voice n tells us that it could be.
Usually the other 99,9% of us kills it.
But when it prevails, and keeps nagging on us with it's frail whisper,
subsiding n rising like the wind gets a hold of it every now n then so we can't always hear it, but still knows it's there.
.
Then we are staring the wide open opportunity straight in the face.
.
And then we duck for cover.
And with a cold sweat we tell ourselves with a shaky voice, while our intestines calms themselves down,
that the surrounding was wrong,
we weren't quite feeling well,
we were tired, hadn't slept very well,
or then maybe we felt pushed and then we of course couldn't do anything about it because we are all offended n upset
"coz' if ure gonna do it u gotta do it right, right?"
.
We tell ourselves anything just to keep the doubt out of our heads.
Coz' why wouldn't we go for it?
.
Maybe it wasn't the wish in itself we wanted,
what if it was just the thought of the wish we wanted,
maybe we only ever just wanted to dream.
Or could it be so that we are scared,
because what if we get it, n it doesn't make us feel absolutely 137% intensely happy in a heartbeat.
Then we can't flee from it by dreaming about our wish, then we've really got nothing.
.
It takes a really brave chicken to dear to take the risk to stand without any dreams to attach him/her to the future.